Too Early To Do Anything But Think

I'm sitting here feeling that pump of adrenaline you feel only when you've pushed yourself to the max.

I LOVE that feeling.

It's the promise of that feeling that wakes my butt up at 4:30 AM in the morning.

It's that feeling that puts me into a cleaning frenzy the minute I get home.

It's that feeling that gives me the energy to deal with 21 too-stressed-for-their-own-age fourth graders on a Monday morning.

It's that feeling that encourages me to drive on snowy, windy roads on my own instead of weakly and babyishly making T drive me to work.

It's that feeling that makes me want to cry and laugh and puke all at the same time.

It's that feeling that makes me think like it's my own personal drug, and it's that feeling that makes me reflect on all the wonderful blessings I have in my life at 6:30 AM.  

I am truly blessed.

I am blessed to take care of two, very healthy, very sweet, very adorable boys.

I am blessed to live in such a wonderful place.

I am blessed for us both to have jobs where the morale makes us want to come to work most days (this is not common in my profession).

I am blessed to have family who loves and supports me.

I am blessed to have a place where we call home.

I am blessed to have a man who loves me and supports me on a daily basis.  

I am blessed to have the schedules we both do, where we actually get to spend every evening together, and I am blessed to feel the spirit in my home. 

It's easy for me to focus on all the things I don't have, all the things I'm not doing, all the qualities I'm lacking, but today, at 6:30 in the morning, I am thankful to be able to sit down with my thoughts, reflect, and start a day filled with fourth grade science experiments, and lots of  kisses, hugs, and squeezes from both my men.

Did I mention this adrenaline feeling also makes me a huge sap?