I am now 25 years old. My brother, Richard will be 30 next year. I remember once in elementary school, I was thinking to myself about how old Richard and I would be in a certain amount of years (my thought process went something like this: 'Next year I will be 11 and Richard will be 15. The year after, I will be 12 and Richard will be 16. The year after that...') I think I only got up to Richard being in his early twenties somewhere, but I do remember thinking, 'Whoa! That will NEVER happen!"
Well, here's a news flash: It DID happen! You know what? It is just going to keep happening, over, and over, and over again. A combination of this new realization (I'm a little slow) and the car accident, have left me feeling very scared about the future. I have been constantly on edge lately, worrying about everything! What if I die today? What if I get in another car accident, only this time much worse? What if T dies? (The last question keeps me up at night.)
Yesterday, we were sitting in church and I had this sudden desire to read my scriptures during the sacrament. I flipped through the Book of Mormon and came across Alma 42. This is where Alma the younger is talking to his son, Choriaton. Throughout my mission, I took a lot of solace in this chapter because to me, it feels like the whole meaning of life is explained to me in great detail in this one chapter. While perusing the verses, I got to this one.
And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance. (Alma 42:29)
It made me think about all the worrying I've been doing lately and how useless it is. I remember a song once sang the words, 'worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum' How true that is! What is worrying going to solve? The only thing I need to concern myself with is if I am doing right in the eyes of God. I need to be working on becoming a better person everyday (no matter how slow the process).
If that wasn't enough self-revelation, I had a wonderful girl visiting our Sunday School class tell me, "The reason we need to be humble is so we can get everything we can out of each day." This made me think about my own life. Am I getting everything I can out of life each day? Thanks to this wonderful girl, I learned no matter what happens in the life it is important to make the most of what we've got because this time is truly a gift. Not to mention, we're only given one shot, so we better make it a good.
(Thank you Chelsea! Please, please, please come back to visit sometime. I know you live in Tucson, but you are ALWAYS welcome!)
By the way, I had a great birthday. I was surrounded by lots of people who love and care about me, which made my birthday worth having. Thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday via the Internet or phone. I really appreciate T's family; several members of the Isom clan called me yesterday to sing to me and wish me a happy birthday. Thanks to all! LOVE YOU!!
4 comments:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE! And seriously, thanks for sharing your thoughts and that scripture! I can't tell you how much I worry - I'm seriously worse than my Grandma and mom put together! I sooooo needed to hear that good advice, thanks a bunch! Now i do just need to start worrying about those sins...
Yay for another quarter life crisis! So, for the record I almost got killed by another crazy TX truck driver who was himself driving like a maniac. I pulled over to turn and then realized it wasn't the right turn, so I pulled out to make the right turn and suddenly "HONK!!!" And a huge flash of shiny black was zooming by at alarming speed! I was scared stiff!
Happy birthday Jackie!!! (I'm sorry it's late.) I have been worrying like crazy about everything lately... thank you for posting this. It made me feel at peace about things. Thank you. Take care and happy birthday!!!
Happy birthday to Jackie from Hans and Natty. Hope it was a good one.
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