Motherhood

I love it when certain holidays (like Mother's Day) give me a reason to reflect on my life.

Like I need a reason, am I right?

As I sit here, thinking about the last 3+ years of my life, I imagine someone asking me the question, "What is motherhood to you?"

Truth is, if I were asked that question, I would be at a loss of words.

Sure, I could say the clichéd and overly used (probably by me), "Motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me." or "Motherhood is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I've ever done."

Do those words ring true for me?

Of course.

I guess I'm not sure if those words truly capture what motherhood means to me.

Honestly, motherhood means something different to me every time I think about it.

Right now?

Motherhood is 9:17 PM, both kids are lying down, and the house has gone quiet. While I'm basking in this simple, deafening, delicious, long awaited silence, only the clinking of the computer keys breaking it. 

Motherhood is going on a field trip all day, hiking 3+ miles, getting a tad sunburned, coming home and see your kids' eyes light up when they see you.  It makes you feel energized, and it instantly becomes the highlight of your day.

Motherhood is truly loving your job, while you send your precious babies into the hands of another.  You know they're in good hands, but you long to hold them, touch them, smell them. 

 Motherhood is seeing other mothers doing things differently and wondering, 'Is that how it should be done?'

   Motherhood is constantly asking yourself if you're doing right by your kids. 

Motherhood is a constant internal battle. 

Motherhood is guilt.

 Motherhood is your son allowing you to pick out his clothes only if he dresses himself.  Hence all his clothes are on backwards/inside out.

Motherhood is compromise.

Motherhood is the hugs your child gives when he knows you're stressed.

Motherhood is listening, watching, and laughing at the miracles you created.

Motherhood is marveling.

And lastly (at least right now), motherhood is trying to take a picture with your two children, only to realize one doesn't have pants and wants to run rather than sit next to his mom while the other cannot look at the camera long enough to snap a picture due to all the exciting things there are to see. 

Motherhood is my life.